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For the adepts of this arcane practice, meeting women is a matter not of luck but of skill. The artist has to find his mark, attract her attention, and demonstrate his value—all in a few short minutes. He then has to ‘‘disarm the obstacles,’’ ‘‘isolate the target,’’ and ‘‘create an emotional connection,’’ to be followed by a physical one. ’’ It’s only one example of the subculture’s argot: sarger (pickup artist), target (‘‘the woman in a group whom the pickup artist desires’’), IOI (indication of interest), hook point (‘‘the moment in a pickup when a woman .

There are, then, two loves. One is calculated, calculating, and exact. In this book I will call it ‘‘transactional love’’ or ‘‘worldly love,’’ since it underlies the operations of ordinary life. ’’ I am taking the last phrase from the spiritual teacher G. I. Gurdjieff (c. 13 These utterances may look obscure, but they make sense in light of the ideas I’ve sketched out. Why should conscious love ‘‘evoke the same in response’’? Because it demands nothing and asks nothing. C. S. Lewis, in his celebrated book The Four Loves, calls it ‘‘gift-love,’’ and this is correct, as long as we avoid confusing it with the idea of gifts given in the ordinary world, which usually have certain obligations hidden in the packaging.

19 And indeed the usage of this word in the Greek of all periods generally suggests something slightly remote and disinterested. This suggests that the purity of conscious love, taken by itself, can be rather cold and bloodless. Divorced from the 02/20/07 12:04pm 22 Smoley-c01-2 Kierkegaard’s Error more ambiguous but more engaged ‘‘love of the world,’’ agape turns into the arid theological virtue that Berdyaev deplores. Many wedding ceremonies include a reading of Paul’s famous encomium to love from 1 Corinthians: ‘‘Love is patient and kind; love is never boastful,’’ and so on (1 Corinthians 13:1–13).