By Matthew Inman, The Oatmeal

This isn't only a publication approximately operating. It's a publication approximately cupcakes. It's a publication approximately suffering.

It's a ebook approximately gluttony, vainness, bliss, electric storms, ranch dressing, and Godzilla. It's a booklet approximately all of the poor and lovely purposes we get up on a daily basis and propel bodies via rain, shine, heaven, and hell.

From number 1 big apple occasions best-selling writer, Matthew Inman, AKA The Oatmeal, comes this hilarious, appealing, poignant number of comics and tales approximately working, consuming, and one cartoonist's purposes for walking throughout mountains until eventually his toenails fall off.

Containing over 70 pages of never-before-seen fabric, together with "A Lazy Cartoonist's consultant to changing into a Runner" and "The Blerch's advisor to Dieting," this ebook additionally comes with Blerch race stickers.

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Extra info for The Terrible and Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

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Certainly. Granola never harmed anybody, nor the birds and bees—not to mention milk. God is unknowable, but nature is explaining herself all the time. What has she told us so far? That blacks are obviously inferior to whites, for one thing, and intended for menial work on white man’s terms. This clear lesson from nature, we should remind ourselves from time to time, allowed Thomas Jefferson to own slaves. Imagine that. “What troubles me most about my lovely country is that its children are seldom taught that American freedom will vanish, if, when they grow up, and in the exercise of their duties as citizens, they insist that our courts and policemen and prisons be guided by divine or natural law.

This was in Indianapolis, the world’s largest city not on a navigable waterway. Cousin Richard telephoned back. He was thrilled. He said that Bernard’s signals were loud and clear simply everywhere on the radio band, drowning out music or news or drama, or whatever the commercial stations were putting out at the time. • • • This is certainly that kind of masterpiece, and a new name should be created for such an all-frequencies assault on the sensibilities. I propose the name blivit. ” I would not mind if books simpler than this one, but combining fiction and fact, were also called blivits.

Uncle John’s conclusion to this prologue is worth setting down here: “The two world wars in which the United States was arrayed against Germany were painful experiences for German-Americans. They hated to be obliged to fight their racial cousins, but they did so, and it is significant that of the millions of German descendants in the United States during those dreadful wars there was not one case of treason. “The Germans, while loving the country of their origin, did not approve of Kaiser Wilhelm II and his warlords, nor Hitler and his wretched Nazis.

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